I stumbled across these words at 12:15am today. I wrote them in April 2014 and promptly forgot about it. Now that I've found it, I vaguely remember playing around with it but abandoning it when I couldn't make it work. Check it out, and read on for my thoughts afterward.
Take a look around the campus today
People barely holding on but saying they're OK
Walking 'round like zombies shivering in the cold
All doing what they love, or so I'm told
But it sure seems like misery from what I can see,
I know I've seen it from the inside
If I took a different view, I guess it's true that I
Might be more inclined to be of a different mind
And say that life isn't always perfect all the time
Take a look around a busy street at noon
All those people don't know where to go, but they have to get there soon
A mother takes her daughter by the hand and leads her on the way
In twenty, maybe thirty years, I bet that daughter does the same
But that's a life so distant, I must admit that
Her pathway might be different
If I quelled my inner cynic for a minute, I would see
She doesn't have to be lost in a listless sea
Filled with weary people only yearning to be free
But any road is a lonely road, if you walk that road all alone
Take a look around, and make a choice
And if you're feeling down or feeling up, just raise your voice
Tell the whole damn world, even if nobody hears
Then listen up for someone else, once you know how much it helps
You and I together, we can make an army of listening, loving ears
This is clearly the first draft of a first draft of a song, but there are definitely some good lines.
"Any road is a lonely road, if you walk that road alone" has potential, though I'm not sure if I believe it anymore. I'm not sure if I even believed it then; I probably just liked how it sounded.
"If I quelled my inner cynic for a minute" also flows pretty nicely, as does "lost in a listless sea." There's some other stuff I like sprinkled throughout, but overall these lyrics seem to be mostly filler material.
So what to do about it? I'll start by writing new lyrics that express the same sentiments as these, but with 50% fewer words. Hopefully this process will inspire me to finish the song, starting with a proper refrain.
From there, I'll start playing around with music. Until I see the new words in front of me, I don't know what the music will sound like. But I am definitely excited to find out!
Stay tuned for more about the "Untitled Positive Song" and all of the Bizzartifacts. Also, check out The Facebook Songs for more behind-the-music reflections, and make sure to follow me on Facebook for exclusive videos and live performances!